This morning, as I was tuning in to church via live video stream, I was struck by the glaring dichotomy of the two reactions that seem to define society where the #coronavirus or #COVID-19 is concerned. The first reaction is fear and the other reaction, is peace.  In the simplest of terms, these are the two reactions of our global society.

As a therapist, I have a unique opportunity to offer an objective perspective in the situations that affect my clients.  By and large, people get stuck when their thinking becomes so polarized in one thought pattern. When that happens, they are unable to see what else may be true besides their current thought.  As you may have guessed, we call that polarized thinking.

With the world changing on a daily basis, I thought it might be helpful to offer some tools to those struggling with fear in light of our global pandemic.

The Bible says in Proverbs 23:7 “ for as a man thinks in his heart, so is he…” this scripture is a great illustration for the core tenants of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).  Everything begins with a thought.  In a nutshell this is how it works:

Thoughts------Become Beliefs----Feelings---- Behaviors---- Outcomes----reinforce or disprove thoughts

Let me break it down a little bit more. 

Most people don’t really know what thoughts they are entertaining or how those thoughts quickly become a belief.  What they do know is how they feel.  “ I feel depressed” “ I am feeling really anxious lately” “I am so lonely” “I am angry” “I am scared” “I am worried” “I am hurt.”

Those feelings, quickly dictate behaviors, otherwise known as coping mechanisms, which can be positive or negative. A few examples of coping mechanisms include:

Suicide

Self-Harm

Cheating-Affairs

Drug/Alcohol abuse

Lying

Over-eating

Over-working

Sleeping

Avoiding

Physical Violence

All of these behaviors will have a consequence/outcome, that will either reinforce their original thought/belief or disprove it.  So in order to change the behavior, we have to change the feelings/emotions and in order to change the emotion, we must look at what thoughts have we believed?

The negative thoughts that lead to negative emotions generally include:

I am not good enough…

I am not lovable

No one loves me

I am a failure

They are going to leave me

I will end up alone…. And the list goes on.

This brings we back to my opening paragraph relating to the Corona Virus and why we are seeing the dichotomy between people who are at peace with the situation and those who are in fear.  When it comes to our thoughts, we have a choice.  This is so much more then “positive thinking.”  This is about “free-will”.  We can choose to believe fear, which according to the Bible does not come from God, “For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Tim 1:7). Or we can choose to believe that everything is going to be ok and if we believe that, we will have peace.  We can choose to “cultivate gratitude” as Brené Brown would say.

Good Thoughts________________<------Our Mind------>_________________Bad Thoughts         

I could survive—————————————-The World has changed ——————————-I could Die

Is it True?

What else is true?

       I now know what matters most————————————————————I could loose everything…..

We cannot and should not turn a blind eye to the current state of affairs, we should be prudent, we should stay at home as much as possible; but we should also be vigilant to our thoughts, cultivating gratitude in every situation, and purposefully finding out what else could be true in the midst of all the doom and gloom reports. We can choose to believe what is good, we can choose to believe that God is in control, and we can choose to have faith instead of fear, which by the way is the essence of courage.  We may not be able to control people, places, things, or a global pandemic, but we can choose how we respond.  So, I leave you with this:

“Finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of a good report: if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things” (Phil 4:8).

I choose to believe that God is in control.  Whatever the coronavirus brings, after the process is over, everything is going to be ok, and humanity will be changed.  My prayer is that we will all come together in unity, in peace and in love one-for-another.

Be safe, Be Vigilant, Have Faith.         

Kathy Looper, CDWF, LMFT 114064

Californiacounseling.net