A few years ago, I attended the annual conference for Marriage & Family Therapists. I sat through many continuing education classes but one in particular made a profound impact on me. It was an 8 hour class on personality disorders. When it comes to personality disorders, many theorist believe they are unchangeable. “People with personality disorders are incapable or unwilling to change” they say. There are scientific reasons why theorists have come to this conclusion.
There are a total of 10 types of personality disorders listed in the DSM 5. The ones most people are familiar with are:
Anti-social PD (aka sociopath)
Narcissistic PD
Borderline PD
Histrionic PD
When I was in graduate school, one of my favorite theories to study was Attachment Theory. It made total sense to me. Attachment explained things I inherently understood but didn’t have language for.
What I learned that day sitting in my CE class was that people who develop a personality disorder, do so as a result of severe abuse between the ages 0-5. Their attachment bond is severed and their psyche is split, all without any ability for them to control or change it due to their developmental stage. It is a tragic, and in my opinion, a demonic hijacking of a human soul.
The class ended with the lecturer stating all personality disorders are a result of an absence of Love. That caused me to conclude that if an absence of love was in part, the causation, then the presence of love could, in part be the solution. The other part would be healing. Both found in Jesus.
There is a great book, written by Bruce K. Alexander, called “The Globalization of Addiction” in which he concludes, love is the answer to all addictions.
I wonder how many people would be healed and find hope in Jesus if we worked at loving our neighbor as ourselves, as the Bible tells us to do? I wonder who we could help if we allowed ourselves to be a tool in the hand of God to show kindness, goodness, gentleness, love and humility to others?
I know that I fall short. I’m working on it. I am grieved by the amount of people who are dying at record numbers by suicide, addiction, and violence. I want to be better!! What if Love really is the answer, just as the Bible says? I don’t want to miss any opportunities to love and be kind. What about you?